The Four Stages of Vacation Kayaking

  1. Determination and joy as you commune with nature

  2. Twinge of regret as you realize just how tiring kayaking is and the lactic acid builds up in your muscles.

  3. Exhaustion sets in but you still think you can give it one more go if you just take a short break. perhaps a nap.

  4. Surrender and a cigarette while you float on the current, call your wife and beg her to pick you up wherever this plastic devil craft beaches after which you will merrily set it on fire.

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