Life on The River at the RiverHouse

It rained last night. A true gullywasher (if we had gullies). A thunderstorm with an impressive light show and thunder that rolled and rolled for so long that it seemed like it couldn’t be real. There was much shivering and need for comfort among the canine members of the Ware family.

After taking the dogs for their morning walk, I came back to find Lisa making herself some coffee.


We have a well established routine. Lisa gets up, showers and gets ready to leave for work. I walk the dogs and make her a cup of coffee. I then bring that cup of coffee upstairs and leave it for her on the bathroom sink. This satisfies my need for routine and allows her to prepare for the day without fighting with Pit Bulls and Catahoulas.

Not this morning

We return from the walk and the usual chaos ensues as the girls line up for the “Hey, I just pooped in your yard” treat. I then go into the kitchen to start Lisa’s coffee and there she stands in front of the coffee machine. Wrapped in a pink towel and making a cup of coffee. My Asperger’s kicks in and I have no idea what to say. I start to make some passive-aggressive comment so that I’m not the only one that knows I’m annoyed and I hear

“There’s a giant tree stuck on your boat”

WHAT? I look out the window at the Marie J gently rocking next to the dock and notice a branch towering about 5 feet above the deck of the boat on the river side of the bow. I race walk saunter outside and see the result of last night’s rain.

A large portion (30+ feet long, 18″ diameter) of a tree came down the river at some point last night and ran into the Marie J at dock. The tree had one sharp broken branch about 8 inches in diameter jammed against the boat and, combined with the swiftly running current, was doing its best to make a kebab out of my boat right through it’s freshly painted hull. The remainder of the tree was alongside all 34′ of the Marie J and another branch was stuck on the dive platform.

I vaulted jumped clambered  onto the deck, a bit of muscle with the boat hook, the obligatory commentary from the neighbors, some cursing of my recent weight loss (I really could use those 15 pounds back right now) and the tree came loose. I shoved it out into the river (as best I could) and it continued it’s journey of mayhem and destruction. I watched it until it went around the bend in the river just to make sure it didn’t damage any of the neighbors I can actually see and a quick prayer for those I couldn’t. I should feel bad for pushing it into the river.

I don’t

And, I feel bad about that. I’m trying to find out who gets that sort of stuff out of the river but the answer appears to be no one. It isn’t really a navigation hazard since the only people that won’t see the giant thing are folks violating the no-wake zone in their souped up bass boats and jet skis. Do I wish them injury? Absolutely not but significant amounts of property damage?

Oh yes. Oh so very yes

In about a mile, it will have a choice of going to the Caughdenoy Dam on the right or into the marina on the left where they launch those bass boats and jet skis that go blasting down the river causing boats to bang against their docks and eroding the banks of the river. Privileged asshats that believe the river is theirs to abuse and don’t want to follow the rules because it is their God-given right to destroy the lifestyle that the rest of us value and work to maintain.

Much like this country, I so hope it turns left.


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